As a wife to a firefighter, I am solo parenting for 48 hours or more at a time. My husband also does wildland deployments where he’s gone for 2-3 weeks at a time. Whether your solo parenting for 12 hours or for days at a time, here are some things that help me through a day of solo parenting.
Before I say anything, one thing that so important to remember is
What works for you, doesn’t have to work for anyone else.
Just because these are what work for me – doesn’t mean they have to work for you, and that’s okay! I simply want to share in case you feel alone or nervous for the days ahead. You can do this!
It’s okay to not do it all.
The laundry, the dishes, grabbing take out vs cooking… You don’t have to have it all together. Some days we are just surviving. You will eventually find a groove that works for you. Personally, I am usually able to do one load of laundry, but it might stay in the dryer until my husband is home from shift. Typically the dishes are something I try to do once the kids go to bed, but sometimes I just need to relax and do nothing after bedtime. I’ve really tried to accept the idea that it will get easier and it’s okay for things to be a little messy.
Plan easy dinners.
Personally, I choose to grocery shop when my husband is home (especially those first few months after baby #2). Whether you shop as a whole family or just by yourself, having a plan is key. Meal plan ahead of time so you know what you will need from the grocery store. The nights than I am solo we are eating EASY dinners. Think crockpot, hamburger helper, etc.
I also often cook a big meal the night before shift, something that I would love to have as left overs.
Check out all my go to recipes here.
Get outside.
I learned this with my first, but it was especially important to remember during those 2 under 2 days. For myself, my toddler, and my newborn – the sun and fresh air were so healing. Most days we are outside a lot. We always do some kind of stroller walk and sometimes we’ll make it to the park. Some days we just go out our front door and hang out. It doesn’t have to be a complicated activity, but my toddler and baby both seem to be refreshed by getting outside.
You’re a good mom, even when you choose to use screen time.
When the baby has to be put down for a nap, nine times out of ten I am using screen time to entertain my toddler so I can get him down easier. I used to feel guilty for it, but there’s not real reason to. It helps me not to worry about what she’s getting into and she usually doesn’t interrupt the nap this way.
Some shifts are harder than others. Some shifts I am counting down the minutes until my FF is home. But at the end of the day, I remind myself that I did it before and I can do it again. You got this. You’re doing a great job. xx Ciara
